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www.lituanus.org |
Copyright
© 1957 Lithuanian
Students Association, Inc.
June,
1957 No.2(11)
Managing Editor P. V. Vygantas |
THE WOLF
JONAS MEKAS
They caught him, they closed in on
him, they made
a circle around him, and then they told him to dance. They laughed, and
this was their revenge. They did not care that he could not dance.
"Dance, wolf!" they shouted, and he looked around and he was
frightened, and he only looked at them. He did not have any choice, he
was their prisoner and he had to obey them. They continued shouting,
and he sat there and looked at them stubbornly, with hatred in his eyes.
"Who
can force me to dance7" he thought. But then their fists began falling
on his back, and they beat him with sticks; with sticks they beat the
wolf. And though he knew he didn't want it, he felt, in his
helplessness, his legs beginning to move and leap and move in the
circle, round and round. It was his hopelessness, and it was the
beginning of the dance, though he didn't want to do it and hated them.
"No, it's not me, no, it's not me, it's only my legs that are leaping,"
he said. But who will hear, who will understand a wolf! And all that he
wanted now was to stare at them, with hate, but he felt that his legs
did not obey him, and he jumped and ran round in the circle. "I will
not, I will not," he groaned. But his legs already leaped, his legs did
not obey any more. The fists and the sticks were like a heavy rain, and
he leaped, his legs leaped. He ran in the round, and he jumped, and
then he saw, he suddenly saw that he was already dancing. "The wolf is
dancing!" they roared, and they all wanted to see how the wolf danced.
This was their revenge, the wolf knew it, and all that he wanted was to
stay there and stare at them with hate, but he was dancing, his legs
danced, and he was not able any longer to stop them, he had to obey
them, and he jumped and leaped. He was their prisoner, he did not have
any other choice, he, the wolf! They caught him, one day, a free beast
of the forests, they caught the wolf, and now he belonged to them. He
could hear their voices around him, they had brught their wives and
their children, they trampled and trumpeted and shouted around him, and
colorful baloons were floating over the square. They made a feast of
the wolf's dance, they celebrated the catching of the wolf, the
imprisonment of the wolf; they feasted their revenge, they sang and
they shouted, and he leaped and leaped, and the sticks hit him and
fists, once more and once more, and when he already thought that they
had forgotten him, he felt another one and another, and he leaped to
the side, and there they waited all ready for him, and to the left and
to the right, and left and right, he leaped. He did not want it, all
that he wanted was to lay down and let himself be beaten. He was a
courageous wolf, but his legs were weak, he knew. He knew that his legs
were weak and that he had to obey them. He knew that his liberty was
endless and unlimited, but that his legs were weak, he knew that his
legs were limited. Why force a wolf to dance, why, as if he were a
dancer.. Look at his legs! And he leaped and leaped, and he did not
see, he only leaped miserably, silently, moaning. Who would understand
if he would say that it is hard for a wolf, that it can be hard for a
wolf. He is a wolf, a killer, a beast from the forests. So they laughed
in their contentment. He could hear, through the dizziness, their
laughing and the rhythm of the music, and they trampled and roared, and
a cloud of dust was eating his throat; he leaped and leaped, and he
felt now how his legs were bending and tired. "Oh, jump, wolf, jump!"
they shouted, and he did not feel any more, he only jumped round and
round, kneeling and falling; it was a poor and miserable dance, and all
he could hear was their shouting as they roared around him they
howled around him, he could clearly hear them howling now. In the
beginning they sounded only like a large waterfall, but now they were
like an innumerable rut of wolves; they howled and roared around him,
and from his dark circle he could set: the sharp light in their eyes.
"Leap, wolf, leap, dance the dance of thy liberty!" and he jumped and
fell and leaped again and again. You are a poor dancer, wolf, you are a
bad dancer. You did not learn to dance in the woods, no, you didn't
learn to dance in the woods, nor in the snow, and thy legs are not
beautiful, you who were born in the forests!leap wolf, leap! And he
jumped and leaped, and the howling around him grew louder and louder,
they roared like a huge rut, and he knew he had no other choice now.
Who are they, who are they, what is a wolf, where is the essence of a
wolf, what is a wolf and what is not. They howled and they jumped and
they leaped. They will kill you, they will kill you, if you don't jump,
they will kill you. But he no longer cared, he could not feel any more,
he could not feel nor think any more, he only groaned and fell and
leaped again, and the howling around him grew and grew, and the dust,
and heat, and their eyes burned in the dark. They were a rut, they were
wolves, and who was he, who was he he did not know any more, now he was
something that he did not know any more. But he felt that he would
never find out, that this was his last question, a question which he
knew was his last question: Who am I, who are they, who are I and who
am they? And they roared and the sticks and fists fell on his back,
but he did not have any strength to obey, he did not have any strength
to obey, he did not have any strength. Ha, ha, he laughed, and they
roared and howled, but he did not hear them any more. He lay there, a
free wolf, and the dance was ended, and he was free, he didn't have any
strength left, his legs did not have any strength to obey: he was free
not to leap.
They were still dancing
around him, shouting and howling "Jump, wolf, jump!" but the wolf
Iry there in the circle, and they will never know that the wolf was
always free, that only his legs were leaping and jumping and dancing,
that these were only his legs that were jumping, not the wolf, the free
beast of the forests, that the legs were not the wolf the wolf was
much deeper, the wolf was very deep, though he didn't know what a wolf
is and who are they, who are they and what is a wolf.
Romas Viesulas -
Illustration for "The Wolf"